As with pretty much anything health-related, we may know better, but we don’t stick to what we’d tell our best friend: Keep to a regular bedtime and a consistent routine, and avoid whatever disrupts sleep, like caffeine, alcohol, and screens. Not that complicated, but what’s often hardest is what’s frustratingly out of our full control. Even following solid advice, sometimes we suffer through rotten nights, feeling anxious or struggling to settle ourselves. We have nothing but empathy for a friend with insomnia, yet as we lie awake in the dark we may not give ourselves the same degree of care. A good place to start, then, might be an adapted version of Kristin Neff’s self-compassion practice: Breathing in, say to yourself, My trouble falling asleep is a moment of suffering. Breathing out, All people have moments of suffering. And then, This is how things are right now. May I find peace and ease and a night’s rest. Since staying awake while we’re meditating is often a big challenge, it’s no surprise that mindfulness has been shown to promote healthy sleep. It’s not all that exciting to sit quietly and breathe. It can be downright boring, not to mention calming. But that’s not the whole story. Mindfulness practice encourages nonjudgmental awareness—seeing things exactly as they are, with openness and curiosity. If we accept the basic facts outlined above about what tends to lead to healthy sleep, and it contradicts how we live, it might be time to patiently explore what stands between us and change. With sleep, as with meditation practice, intentions are easier said than done. Here’s a little reflection and inventory list that may help.

4 Sleep Routine Questions to Ask Yourself:

  1. Objectively consider your pre-bedtime routine—anything to change?A consistent bedtime, a quiet room, and a focus on settling down go a long way toward better sleep.
  2. Is it time to see a doctor?It may be unsettling visiting a doctor to find out if you have a sleep disorder, but it’s a good idea. For example, any amount of chronic snoring can disrupt sleep. Aging affects sleep too, which may be worth discussing with your physician.
  3. Are there routines other than bedtime that may help you settle? Notice your habits with screens, alcohol, or caffeine. How do you manage stress? How consistently do you exercise? Remember to have self-compassion: Don’t judge yourself for your habits, but take firm action when ready.
  4. Are you pushing yourself too hard and taking that into bed? Consider practicing non-striving while in bed. By not trying to sleep, sleep quite often arrives. Focus on the breath or the body. Notice the thoughts swirling: It’s happening again; if I don’t fall asleep soon I’ll be so tired tomorrow. Notice it all, and breathe. Maybe there’s nothing at all to do tonight except that, and to gently let go of thinking about (the) rest. Neither sleep routines nor mindfulness practice responds well to a heavy hand. If you set out to force yourself into sleep, you’re less likely to sleep. If you strain for some picture-perfect mindset when meditating, you’ll create more stress and uncertainty. If you set yourself up with clear-sighted planning and patient resolve— intentionally but unforced—sleep and mindfulness are both more to likely follow. To allow you to fully experience this meditation, we recommend that you listen to the audio version. However, you can also simply read the text below. If you choose to do so, read through the entire script first to familiarize yourself with the practice, then do the practice, referring back to the text as needed and pausing briefly after each paragraph. Take about twenty minutes for the practice. You can do this practice in a seated position. In considering any meditation related to sleep, recognize that there’s nothing to force, and nothing to make happen.  Since striving makes sleep more challenging, set out to practice without specific expectations or goals. We cannot make ourselves sleep, but perhaps, by aiming to stay settled and getting less caught up in our thoughts, we fall asleep anyway. For the meditation that follows, there will be no ending bell or instruction. At the end, continue to practice if you like, or hopefully enjoy a good night’s rest instead.

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Diana Winston March 13, 2019

Mindful Staff September 30, 2020